Tuned in to listen to Bill Cunningham briefly today in the car. For those of you who aren't from the Cincinnati area, Bill Cunningham is our local version of Rush Limbaugh. Anyway, he was whining today about something I've been hearing a lot about lately, the controversy over extending unemployment benefits, which has historically been done in times of financial difficulty. Our president is a proponent of extending these benefits, as are most in his party, which means the Republicans are throwing a fit. The argument against extending unemployment benefits seems to be primarily that paying people who aren't working encourages them to continue to not work.
Now, I can't honestly say that there aren't some people who fall into that category, but I don't know too many unemployed people who enjoy being unemployed, and I know a whole bunch of people who complain that they are severely underemployed (that is to say, they aren't working as many hours as they want to be working, because the hours aren't there to be worked). I fall into this latter group myself. Most people don't want a handout, they want to be paid, but they want to earn it. Don't get me wrong, I like my free time, but I want to work, damn it!
If you're in the camp of those who don't want to extend unemployment benefits, or even worse, want to end it altogether, what is your defense for this position? Probably, it's something like, It'll get these people off their butts and back into the work force again! Well, golly, that sure is a great argument. Oh, except for the part where there are five unemployed people for every available job right now. Math was never my strong suit, but that doesn't seem like a situation where there are just a bunch of lazy people who don't want to work. It seems a lot more like a situation where there just AREN'T ENOUGH GODDAMN JOBS.
Strangely enough, when our President wants to create new jobs (for instance, he just proposed adding 20,000 new IRS agents), people start screaming that we don't need that! Seriously? Let me explain, briefly, why that is exactly what we need. 20,000 new jobs for the government means 20,000 more people earning a living wage, something that will pay for their home, their food, their car, and all of that stuff for their family, with a little left over. That means 20,000 more people with DISPOSABLE INCOME, which is a crucial little thing that capitalism thoroughly depends upon. When people don't have disposable income, they stop buying things, and the economy crashes. Is this crystal-fucking-clear, people?
Once more: there are actually people out there who want people to get off of unemployment and get out there and get a job, yet they bitch and moan when somebody tries to create jobs for some of these people. Look, you can't have it both ways, folks. That's called a double standard, and I see so much of that, you'd think you can just drive down to McDonald's and order a Double Standard Value Meal for lunch! Hot molasses! That value meal should come with a side of Logic Fries and a nice tall glass of Shut the Hell Up!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
What Goes Around
A little miscellaneous business is in order today, I believe. Went down to the Reds game Friday night, and was thrilled to see a great game. A close, hard-fought contest that the Reds ultimately won, a packed house, and a playoff-like atmosphere made for one of the most exciting games I have ever attended. However, my enjoyment was somewhat negated by many of the other people in attendance, specifically those who chose to walk up and down the aisles during the innings, while the game was going on. Seriously? Why am I even having to talk about this? Isn't it common courtesy, if not common sense, that you should not obstruct anybody else's view of the game if at all possible? For that matter, shouldn't you be watching the game yourself? You probably laid down at least twenty bucks, if not more, for your seat, and maybe as much for your family or your friends to sit next to you, why don't you pay attention to the game? How much diversion do you really need? Can you not wait until the inning is over to go get your hot dogs and your beers? Should you arrive back to your section after procuring your food and the inning is still in progress, you should wait on the concourse until play has stopped, and you should then return to your seat as quickly as possible, so that you are not blocking the view of another person (exceptions, of course, if you have to use the restroom and cannot wait any longer). Also, you do not need to be texting and checking Twitter every two minutes, as the guy in front of me seemed to believe was necessary to his very existence. You're at a damn ballgame, an exciting one between two good teams! Watch the fucking game! Please, be aware that you are not the only damn person in the world, and that the world will not end if you are away from your phone and/or the internet for a few hours.
Elsewhere in the world of sports, there is basketball. I personally don't care for basketball, but it's out there. And you would have to be living outside of the uncharted waters in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy to be unaware of the LeBron James saga, which ended with James and two other top-of-the-line stars all signing with one team at the same time. The three players had essentially gotten together beforehand and come up with the idea to all play for the same team, and presumably win themselves a championship every year for the next decade or so. Doesn't that sound screwy to anybody else? I saw this morning where Michael Jordan said something to the effect of, he never called up Larry Bird and Magic Johnson and said, Hey, why don't we all play for the same team? He didn't want to play those guys, he wanted to beat them, because that's how you know you're the best. And he's right in his implication, that LeBron James isn't interested in any of that, he just wants his rings, even if it isn't strictly fair or right the way he gets them. You can be like the Yankees in baseball and stack the deck in your favor, and it may get you your championships, but it will also be sure to get you hated by everybody who doesn't root for your team.
For something completely unrelated, I'm now looking at some billboards that have gone up in a few states which are at least supporting the right of old and/or sick people to go ahead and kill themselves, if not outright encouraging it. And to this I say, great! The last thing we need is a bunch of elderly people who don't know where they are or who can't take care of themselves hanging around for way too long, being a drain on either the government or their family, whichever is paying to keep them alive. It's about time somebody started taking a common sense approach to this sort of thing. Hell, why would anybody want to stick around in that condition anyway? I mean, if you're old but you're still getting around okay, more or less on your own, then great, keep at it. Otherwise, we need to get some people outta here! I guess you could say that my theme for the day is pretty much, don't be an asshole, because there seems to be a lot of that going around right now. Somebody, please, break the cycle!
Elsewhere in the world of sports, there is basketball. I personally don't care for basketball, but it's out there. And you would have to be living outside of the uncharted waters in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy to be unaware of the LeBron James saga, which ended with James and two other top-of-the-line stars all signing with one team at the same time. The three players had essentially gotten together beforehand and come up with the idea to all play for the same team, and presumably win themselves a championship every year for the next decade or so. Doesn't that sound screwy to anybody else? I saw this morning where Michael Jordan said something to the effect of, he never called up Larry Bird and Magic Johnson and said, Hey, why don't we all play for the same team? He didn't want to play those guys, he wanted to beat them, because that's how you know you're the best. And he's right in his implication, that LeBron James isn't interested in any of that, he just wants his rings, even if it isn't strictly fair or right the way he gets them. You can be like the Yankees in baseball and stack the deck in your favor, and it may get you your championships, but it will also be sure to get you hated by everybody who doesn't root for your team.
For something completely unrelated, I'm now looking at some billboards that have gone up in a few states which are at least supporting the right of old and/or sick people to go ahead and kill themselves, if not outright encouraging it. And to this I say, great! The last thing we need is a bunch of elderly people who don't know where they are or who can't take care of themselves hanging around for way too long, being a drain on either the government or their family, whichever is paying to keep them alive. It's about time somebody started taking a common sense approach to this sort of thing. Hell, why would anybody want to stick around in that condition anyway? I mean, if you're old but you're still getting around okay, more or less on your own, then great, keep at it. Otherwise, we need to get some people outta here! I guess you could say that my theme for the day is pretty much, don't be an asshole, because there seems to be a lot of that going around right now. Somebody, please, break the cycle!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Life in a Bubble
When did I last post something here? Couple weeks ago? Okay, that's not too bad. I've been trying to form some kind of concrete idea of what I wanted to say next time I pulled up this page, and I think I've settled on a rant about people who are afraid of everything.
We're all afraid of something. Maybe it's spiders, maybe it's clowns, maybe it's heights, dentists, enclosed spaces, the number thirteen, whatever. Maybe you're that very special guy who fears being stuck in an elevator at the thirteenth floor who is somehow falling from the ceiling while being attacked by an arachnid improbably wearing a big red nose and oversized floppy shoes and trying to give you a root canal. You know what scares me? It isn't that unlikely Dr. Spiderclown, DDS. No, rather it's the guy that's afraid of that. Well, not that specifically. I'm talking about the guy with dozens of unspecified fears who takes extreme measures to avoid coming into contact with any of them, the guy who wears a surgeon's mask at night because he heard that you swallow eight spiders in your sleep every year, or the guy who surrounds his bed with garlic and crosses because he's afraid that Robert Pattinson might come after him and get glitter all over him.
The worst, though, the absolute worst are the overprotective parents of the world. You probably know the type. Their kid can only eat the finest (overpriced) all-natural, organic food, they have to wear an entire football uniform to get to soccer practice in case of an automobile accident, they have to be home-schooled because at a public school, they might be exposed to all sorts of Satanic things like practical sex education, the theory of evolution, or possibly even actual human interaction (oh, the horror!)
As I am going to be a dad for the first time around February or so, I want to assure you, dear reader, that there will be none of that sort of bullshit from me. Look, I'm not saying that kids don't need some good old-fashioned parental support and guidance and all that, but they absolutely do not need to be fucking coddled. That shit isn't good for anyone, it just makes them dependent and ill-prepared for the real world, and I will not have any part in having one more goddamn whiny pussy kid running around out there. It's okay if your kid is exposed to some germs, it keeps their immune system sharp in case something really nasty comes along, so don't waste your money on gallons of hand sanitizer. Don't make them wear a helmet when they go bike-riding (unless they're just learning). It will just get them beat up. Take them to McDonald's every once in awhile, it won't fucking kill them. Now, real little kids, you gotta watch them, because they're stupid and they'll stick a key in an electrical outlet first chance they get, but they grow out of that. At some point, though, you gotta take off those kid gloves and let 'em go out and get sick and get hurt and get into trouble, because that's how they learn how to be a person. If you home school 'em, they're just gonna end up being like that guy you work with who not only collects dolls, but has convinced himself that they are endangered Vietnamese kids that he has to protect by blowing up his neighbor's house, and that guy isn't nearly as funny as the movies would have you believe. Damn people, I know the media feeds you all sorts of scary things that can happen out there in the world, but you gotta remember, their paycheck depends on being able to make you afraid of everything.
Anyway, quit being over-protective, and quit being afraid of everything. You've got this life, you might as well try to enjoy it rather than putting a big fucking plastic bubble around you and everyone you care about, because life in a bubble is just a pale imitation, kids. It's Diet Life, nonfat, low-calorie crap that you choke down and try to convince yourself that you like it, but you know deep down that it's not as good as the real thing. Haven't you had enough of that?
We're all afraid of something. Maybe it's spiders, maybe it's clowns, maybe it's heights, dentists, enclosed spaces, the number thirteen, whatever. Maybe you're that very special guy who fears being stuck in an elevator at the thirteenth floor who is somehow falling from the ceiling while being attacked by an arachnid improbably wearing a big red nose and oversized floppy shoes and trying to give you a root canal. You know what scares me? It isn't that unlikely Dr. Spiderclown, DDS. No, rather it's the guy that's afraid of that. Well, not that specifically. I'm talking about the guy with dozens of unspecified fears who takes extreme measures to avoid coming into contact with any of them, the guy who wears a surgeon's mask at night because he heard that you swallow eight spiders in your sleep every year, or the guy who surrounds his bed with garlic and crosses because he's afraid that Robert Pattinson might come after him and get glitter all over him.
The worst, though, the absolute worst are the overprotective parents of the world. You probably know the type. Their kid can only eat the finest (overpriced) all-natural, organic food, they have to wear an entire football uniform to get to soccer practice in case of an automobile accident, they have to be home-schooled because at a public school, they might be exposed to all sorts of Satanic things like practical sex education, the theory of evolution, or possibly even actual human interaction (oh, the horror!)
As I am going to be a dad for the first time around February or so, I want to assure you, dear reader, that there will be none of that sort of bullshit from me. Look, I'm not saying that kids don't need some good old-fashioned parental support and guidance and all that, but they absolutely do not need to be fucking coddled. That shit isn't good for anyone, it just makes them dependent and ill-prepared for the real world, and I will not have any part in having one more goddamn whiny pussy kid running around out there. It's okay if your kid is exposed to some germs, it keeps their immune system sharp in case something really nasty comes along, so don't waste your money on gallons of hand sanitizer. Don't make them wear a helmet when they go bike-riding (unless they're just learning). It will just get them beat up. Take them to McDonald's every once in awhile, it won't fucking kill them. Now, real little kids, you gotta watch them, because they're stupid and they'll stick a key in an electrical outlet first chance they get, but they grow out of that. At some point, though, you gotta take off those kid gloves and let 'em go out and get sick and get hurt and get into trouble, because that's how they learn how to be a person. If you home school 'em, they're just gonna end up being like that guy you work with who not only collects dolls, but has convinced himself that they are endangered Vietnamese kids that he has to protect by blowing up his neighbor's house, and that guy isn't nearly as funny as the movies would have you believe. Damn people, I know the media feeds you all sorts of scary things that can happen out there in the world, but you gotta remember, their paycheck depends on being able to make you afraid of everything.
Anyway, quit being over-protective, and quit being afraid of everything. You've got this life, you might as well try to enjoy it rather than putting a big fucking plastic bubble around you and everyone you care about, because life in a bubble is just a pale imitation, kids. It's Diet Life, nonfat, low-calorie crap that you choke down and try to convince yourself that you like it, but you know deep down that it's not as good as the real thing. Haven't you had enough of that?
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